My Stefan Salvatore

“We choose are own path. Our actions and our values,they define who we are.”

They say we can’t be friends with our ex but what if that ex is just like Stefan Salvatore? well I’m not saying he’s a vampire but he and I are better friends now. In this case I’m assuming I’m Elena Gilbert and he’s Stefan of course,we had dated about a year and when things won’t work out he and I stopped talking and just like Elena and Stefan;when they started talking back as a friend,him and I of course started talking to each other.

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I’m comparing Stefan- Elena relationship to mine because they started sharing a bond of friendship and taking care of each other irrespective of the past and that’s what I’m experiencing recently.

We are sharing an amazing friendship and understanding each other better and we both moved on and we are happy for each other.I think it is not hard to be friends with your ex if your ex understands you more first as a friend rather than anything else and yes we can be friends with them irrespective of any rivalry.

P.S I’m not dating his brother as I haven’t compared it to Damon.It’s just me and him like Stefan and Elena.

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A bouquet of happiness.

“She wore flowers in her hair and carried magic secrets in her eyes. She spoke to no one. She spent hours on the riverbank. She smoked cigarettes and had midnight swims…”

Flowers are the most romantic and beautiful thing a girl could have,I never had flowers from my then boyfriend.He gifted me everything a girl could ever desired and I was happy about that but when I look back today I realized I never wanted any of other gifts rather than just flowers.

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In my entire lifetime only one boy had given me bouquet of roses,it was my birthday when he brought me and it was the most beautiful gift I ever had.They were fresh as morning breeze and red as blood and fragrance was mesmerizing.

So when people ask me what is your ideal date I will always say;him bringing me bouquet of flowers and picking me from my home.It’s just the basic every girl wants not the expensive gifts or anything like I want only flowers and food.

For me flowers plays a very important part in my life and it keeps me reminding of goodness and happiness. A garden to walk in and immensity to dream in–what more could anyone ask? A few flowers at the feet and above them the stars.

The Dream

“A dream is a wish your heart makes.”

Yesterday I had this dream,where me and Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley) were on a date.He was talking to me about chips and I still remember the smile and we were talking about chips and suddenly my mom’s started screaming,she was like sleep talking and my Stefan got disappeared and I was like what the hell in the world !!

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Next day when me and my mom were talking and I was like why did you screamed? My Stefan got disappeared and my mom was like who Stefan ? there was a boy in your dream ? and I was like okay let’s get back to the topic why were you screaming and she was like whose Stefan ?

In the night I was like please bring me back my Stefan,I must have Stefan dream.We haven’t completed our date too and vola! I got a dream but not me and Stefan dating  but me and my best friend along with my cousin brother and the whole monkey crew stuck in a haunted house!!

P.S This was so horrible plus my date got ruined !

My Bffff….

“That was the thing about best friends. Like sisters and mothers, they could piss you off and make you cry and break your heart, but in the end, when the chips were down, they were there, making you laugh even in your darkest hours.”

okay so this blog is dedicated to my best friend Jerry. You see when your best friend knows exact drama you are going through again and again for ages and her reaction was always like yeah okay I know the horoscope of you,yeah like I’m your horoscope and your love life is no less than The conjuring or The Annabelle.

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She don’t drink or smoke and when I do things she was like what the F you are doing!! yes like ordering into a bar is like okay I’m gonna have a short of tequila and my other friend would like some vodka and my best friend like I want water.

She is like other creature not the aliens I’m talking about like a different breed of some unknown creature and please don’t get me started on parents things like she is very parent attach creature and when we talk about things(like boys stuff) and our parents passes by she don’t whisper she’s like oh that boy has oh! yeahhh like we should watch cartoons which cartoons do you remember? oh this one or that? and when they passed by she’s again like oh yeah that boy is a douche bag.

P.S I just wanted to say true love is finding your soulmate in your best friend and I found mine 🙂 also jerry is a girl 😀

Reality Vs Feelings

“Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.”

From where should I start? from the feelings or the actual reality we are living in? I know when feelings and emotions hit you on a massive hurricane rate,you are stunned too! but that feelings and emotions you are dealing with are way different than reality you are living in.

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I know the love feelings,the forever together things but what happen to the actual world crises or distance or financial aid or the most important education ! like okay I get it about we being together till infinity but what about the expenses ?

Yes,the feelings is different and tackling up with all other things are different.Love or feelings doesn’t always work on every situation and sometimes you have to make decisions from your brain cause it knows what is best for you and your future happiness and not from the heart as to live in a fantasy world.

“The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.”

-Shannon L. Alder

No emotions left…

“Pity those who don’t feel anything at all.”

I guess my emotions are tamed and I don’t feel anything. It’s like I wanted to cry but I can’t, I wanted to smile but I can’t and I wanted to laugh but I can’t. It’s like I’m trying to feel but I can’t and without emotions I can’t find myself.

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Without emotions it is very hard to judge anything or to feel anything nor I’m finding anyone to get back them on. So today I just give up. I can’t do this anymore cause I’m tried of opening it or maybe I just haven’t got anyone who can open my emotions back on.

A feeling is no longer the same when it comes the second time. It dies through the awareness of its return. We become tired and weary of our feelings when they come too often and last too long.

Pity on the needy.

“Your mind shines brightest when you enlighten others; your heart, when you encourage others; your soul, when you elevate others; and your life, when you empower others.”

It’s really nice to help others specially family members because family do come first and they are important but helping them and helping those who are actually needy is a different thing.

children-title-image_tcm7-187853I met with my maid’s family in December.Everyone was happy to see me and I was too.I met them for the first time but still they were very happy.What I saw is,they treated me as they treat themselves and that really fascinates me.I made new friends although they wanna know me more,we laughed and had lunch together.

The most important thing is that they were happy instead of their condition and I really had pity on them not because they are like that but they wanted to know me more and be my friend.I think that break’s the difference between a family needy and actually needy. Family on the other hand never gets happy until what they want gets to them.I’m really thankful to God that I made such a beautiful and wonderful friends out there.

And I’m really looking forward to meet them soon 🙂

Healing Stone

“They say let he who is without sin cast the first stone. And to be without sin requires absolute forgiveness. But when your memories are freshly opened wounds, forgiveness is the most unnatural of human emotions.”

I dreamed about this stone last night,it was formed from moon and stars getting along and becoming one.I looked into the sky watching this happen and then wishing something I hadn’t remembered and the stone appeared.

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The stone colored in blue-purple-grey-black;just like galaxy,it was mesmerizing.I remembered I healed someone with that stone just by putting that stone on that person’s body.That dream felt so real,so real that I wanted that stone or just wanted to get back to that dream and live it again.

There was three stones,different in sizes but I wanted them all to heal others,to help others.

 “There were only the great diamonds and sapphires and emerald mists and velvet inks of space, with God’s voice mingling among the crystal fires.”

Little Things

“Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager.”

I was sitting in the church corridors,looking here and there.Looking at people going for Holy communion I observed little things happening around me.A little girl wearing a beautiful red dress was pampering her father to love her,to not to leave her.Making me realized the bonding of father and daughter as not everyone deserve these kind of happiness in their lives.

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I saw my friends crossing by me smiling as I had saw them after so long.Me and my mom moved inside and sited on the church bench.there was pin drop silence with a melody of accordion.It was mesmerizing.I tried to see my friend where she sits but couldn’t found her.

Little things do makes one happy but it is how we observe them,they are near us and we are surrounded by them it’s just the observation that it takes to make it worth knowing.

“Learn to see what you are looking at.”
―Christopher paolini

2017 Cleared !

“passing 2017 was hard as it involved love,friendship, dark secrets,betrayal,heartbreaks and of course death.”

Let me start from where I had left,the breakup.While travelling to my home town and meeting my friends and family I realized that somethings never change even if the world goes upside down.Getting support from my friends in the breakup was a huge success perhaps I did succeeded in turning off my emotions,I didn’t know how I did that but the part when he left made me realized all I had been doing is trusting and believing and that hurt me the most so I turned it off.Finally I don’t feel anything for anyone now.

Then Christmas came and we celebrated;well I was sick,okay not only me but my mom and dad too but somehow we still enjoyed.I also met new people and thus I liked them.

Then New Year came with new me who had no regrets now,no feelings and no emotions.It is good to feel nothing as you don’t care anymore now and now you won’t get hurt too.So that’s how I goodbye my 2017 with family and friends who helped me in surviving previous year and that’s how I welcomed New Year with no feelings.

New Year 2018 is coming concept. Hand flips notepad sheet on wooden table. 2017 is turning, 2018 is opening

P.S my new year resolution: to be selfish and not to trust.