“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my friend”
I can’t breathe, I can’t walk, I can’t speak, I can’t move my body. I can see her everywhere maybe she was my sunrise and my sunset, my sun and my moon and maybe she’s more than a friend. Is this toxic? me being in a toxic friendship? Standing for her whenever she needed but where was she when I needed her? some questions are never answered.
Don’t go with him! he’s not that worth! no..nope and never I won’t allow you, he’s out of your league! he will never go for you! are you kidding me he’s insane are you gonna be with someone who doesn’t have a standard of himself? are you serious? these were the only words I heard from her and I listen because for me she came first. It doesn’t matter who is there with me, but she should come first was the only agenda.
“The moment you realize your eyes hurt not because of rubbing them, but because of the tears you wasted, on him.”
He asked me to choose between him or her and my head turned down not looking in his eyes no matter how much I loved him, I still chose her because she comes first.
I’m in trouble please help me was my words and she looked me in the eye and said this is your mess, not mine. I can’t help you. Aren’t you supposed to be my best friend? I asked. I am your best friend but I’m not gonna get my hands in the dirt just to help you! My eyes were still closed, I still loved her more perhaps more than my family but she betrayed me again and again and again.
I need your help was her words and I was ready to turn the world upside down but as time passes I realized it was a one-sided friendship or I can say she has changed with time.
Forgetting or not forgetting. I’m out of my mind.
She comes first. Always. That changed! she changed!